Nicknames explanation........... PART 1

Please watch the above video =))

Time to start the explaiining #5

so.. Back to explaining..

I left jelly Giraffe at the park. I carried on walking wondering when or IF I would be seeing him again.

Just as I exited the park.. I received a text.. I checked my phone and surely enough, it was from him.. I don't remember the exact words although I am sure it said something along the line of he had a nice time, his son was very tired and he was on the bus home.. I would like to think he also said he would like to do it again at this point but I am not too sure if he did!

From this point we kept faceboook messaging each other and texting. We would meet up for hot chocolate in cafes and just generally hang out together.

It felt nice :)

We talked about our day in the park.. we arranged further meet ups and continued to play poker..

I confessed to him that I wasn't sure if he had wanted to see me again after the day at the park. He thought I was crazy and said "how could I not want to see you again.. I spent the whole day in the park with a gorgeous girl... and it was amaaaazzzzzinnnnng"

Things at home weren't very good for me.. I didn't speak about it with Giraffe and I didn't ask about his home life, I didn't like to pry. One weekend Mr Elusive moved out after a day of serious arguments. It wasn't nice for either of us but I think it was for the best ultimately.

It wasn't until I had a HUGE jealousy thing kick in re: giraffe and a friend and the comments they left on FB that we actually spoke properly about things.

He realised how strongly I felt and I guess reality kicked in.. I was hugely embarrassed after we spoke about it...

It ended up with him listing his train of thought about me.. Starting from "hmmm I really like this girl.." to "I don't want to brake a family up" and this is when I old him Mr E had in fact left..

He said he actually liked the jealousy in some kinda twisted way though that doesn't at all excuse it in my opinion.! :o)

I can be a jelous person although i believe it is a natural thing. I am not overly jelouse and I guess the fact we didnt know each other too well just made it worse for me at the time.

We talk about stuff alot. Its good.

The best thing he ever said to me was

"I knew you were special from the moment I 1st saw you..."

Knowing he felt the same was just amazing.We talked about our initial meeting.. How we both felt that spark. I cannot even begin to explain how I felt, I was glowing.. (and he didn't mean retarded special either!)

So with the knowledge that Mr E was no longer around the ball was pretty much in his court. He had things to think about.. and I didn't want to push him into making those choices.

He asked me what I had planned one evening for the weekend coming and I answered honestly that there wasn't anything planned. He asked me If I wanted to go over to his for the night for movies, take away and the rest.

I took some time to think. End of the day this was his and his girlfriends house. Although I was curious to see the house, in his photos it looked very nice, It would have felt VERY strange so I declined.. BUT went back to him with a counter offer..

"Why don't you stay here...? You can bring the boys.. and we can chill out etc. Up to you?"

He does in fact have two sons. both with different women. Lil man from his girlfriend and the other son from a 1 night stand. Its complicated and he finds it very uncomfortable to talk about.

I don't judge him on his past though sometimes I cannot help but consider what he was like before, but Ill come back to that too..

We arranged details about his over night stay.. He was going to come to mine after 7pm with the boys after he had finished work..

........to be continued......

Moosical Monday: Chihuahua

okay taking a break from the routine.. or at least trying to escape reality today!

Yest I took the kids to the cinema and we watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

It was very funny and better then I expected and the kids loved it. We will defiantly be going again.

Anyway.. A fun song for today..

The Chihuahua Song

Time to start the explaiining #4

I love all the positivity I am getting from your comments here. Although I am now sure from today's post it may begin to change, maybe today's post also reflects my current mood.. I'm not only menstrual (or very close to being anyway) I have the headache from hell and Mr Man was non stop crying this afternoon from 12:30-1:30.. Trying to remain in a positive frame of mind and I know in a day or so ill be right as rain again..

So please do not be concerned :)) <--- happy face!

Oh and I will get to explaining Jelly Giraffes nickname soon too.. Does anyone have any ideas as to why I call him that? :o)

For today.. I have a confession.. I feel it is something which is worth mentioning.. or more or less necessary to get the full story.

As I mentioned in the last post, I was still with Mr Elusive, my children's, dad when me and Jelly Giraffe spent our day at the park.. and well.. He was actually with someone too..

I'm not too sure what was going through my mind when things started progressing between us two.. I think it is safe today we have been pretty smitten with one and other and were caught up in a whirl wind of emotions which we had missed for such a long time..

Being with someone who made you smile, being with someone you thought was amazing. The kisses and cuddles which had dwindled in our current relationships.. The closeness we missed and the companionship..

He has a house, mortgage, girlfriend and son on the opposite side of the city to me. She isn't someone I know although I know who she is. Though so not to confuse the flow of my story I will leave it here for now..

When me and Giraffe began seeing each other we BOTH were in relationships. BAD relationships or at least ones we were not happy with. I know for me it felt like I was saved when I met him, new hope arrived for me. I can love again.. I had felt like no one would ever want me again after being with Mr Elusive. Without sharing too much detail he had always convinced me no one else would ever want me.. so this bizarre situation as we now call it, proved otherwise.. and it has changed my life forever.

....to be continued.....

Time to start the explaiining #3

He asked me just a couple of days before the playdate. I think he asked me on the Friday if I waned to meet up and we arranged to meet on the Monday. I was quite nervous and spent all weekend thinking about it.. I took a lot of time thinking about what I would wear.. I didn't want to over do it.. and also we spent time arranging finer details like where abouts were would meet time.. etc etc

Monday came by so fast. I woke at 6am just to make sure I looked presentable and smelt presentable AND to make sure I had sunshine ready for school. Mondays are manic at the best of times I didn't want any excuses to induce stress!

I planned to meet him there at 9:45am. It was warm and I was stupidly early as I went straight there after the school run..

I cant remember where abouts I had arranged to meet him but I know it changed to the playground as I was cosy on the big swing and couldn't be bothered to move.. I wanted him to make the effort for me I guess :o) and made him come to the playgound.. which in all fairness is a great place to keep the kids occupied!

I had packed a picnic blanket (yes at 9.45am! - Like who picnics at that time??) and a football for the boys.. I chilled in the playground for ages.. Me and Mr man played while we waited for the giraffe and his lil man. He wasn't late.. But time seemed to move painfully slow..

I received a text.. " Just arrived at the park making my way to plygrnd cu soon"

"SHIT!" I thought.. wow he is really coming here.. I peeped around and saw him in the distance.. "stay calm and act natural! deeep breaths" I told myself in my head.. I played with Mr Man while we waited for the walk up.. the closer he got the more I pretended not to notice.. Until he was a couple of meters away..

"Oh! Hello" I said trying to contain my HUGE grin...

"Hello" He said.. Just grinning anyway... :o)

I felt those lil flutters in my tummy.. I felt so silly though tried not to let him see that. I am a girl after all we get ever so so giggly at these things, containing it can be quite a chore! He let his lil man out the buggy to play with my Mr Man and I gestured for us to sit on the blanket..

I knew what I wanted from today.. and I hoped he wanted the same. My blanket was pretty small.. Possibly something I chose on purpose. The smaller the space the less room we had.. and the closer we had to sit :o)

We watched the boys play on the playground and just sat watching them.. for a while.. we talked for ages and I don't remember what about.. I do remember how close we sat though and how strange it felt to be sitting with him and knowing so much about him giving that we had only actually met once prior to this day.

We played football.. ate in the cafe.. fed the ducks then we went to sit on the grass at the other end of the park..

I hadn't expected the meet up to last this long. But by the time we moved towards the grass to sit down, it must have been 1pm.

as we pitched ourselves on the grass, boys armed with a football and lots of loose grass to create grass hills with we lay on the blanket side by side. It was nice.. he rolled onto his side and started to toy with my hair, running his finger thru and stroking the side of my face. I raised my handand stroked his hair.. I love his hair.. Its amazing colour, its texture.. it's just lovely and the way he smelt so.. gorgeous... This is where he leaned over me and kissed me.

It was so utterly amazing and soft and he smelt so god damn fantastic. I ran my fingers thru his hair..It was amaaaazzzzzzing.

We spent a lot of time sneaking kisses on and off while the boys were running around us playing. Time flew by and by 2:40pm we had to start leaving. The weather was turning cold and I had to collect sunshine from school. We took a stroll along the path.. occasionally resting a arm around the other in a lil half hug. We constantly smiled at one and other and at this point I questioned what this was. Was this just some fun? I didn't mind if it was as he was pretty hot.. or would this be more? I figure now this is where uncertainty kicked in.. Though more on that later.

The whole time we were there he never became too touchy feely if you know what I mean? His hands didn't wonder to put it bluntly :o) I guess I found that quite charming as in the past its always been pretty full on for me more or less immediately so the fact he was different showed me he had respect for me.. which in turn made me like him more..

We reached a point in the park where we had to go our separate ways. I felt a little sad. I wasn't sure if he was just being polite by staying with me until that point and wondered if I would actually see him again. I have a confidence issue and feel like a bit of a freak at times but I figured that if he thought that I would soon find out AND I would rather know sooner rather than later :o)

We hugged.. and said our goodbyes. I said a lil goodbye to his lil man and watched them make their way out of the park waving occasionally as I carried on, on my way until they were out of sight..

The sadness gripped me again.. I knew it would be hard to get this guy out of my head after such an amazing day the park. I hoped to hear from him soon as I wasn't going to be texting him 1st. I wanted to know how interested he was so I was leaving it with him..

and anyway.. we were in a bit of a bizarre situation.. I was still with Mr Elusive and well.. I'll leave the rest for another day.

.... to be continued.....